A Self Talk that led me to my Purpose
Series of Questions and Thoughts that led to clarity to identify ones Passion or Calling whatever you name it.
5 min readApr 2, 2021
- Working from Home, freelance, investing, earning money, earning some more money, What after that?
- Why we do what we do?
- There is no lack of developers, engineers or people for any intellectual role in this world.
- Let me try things that do good for people in general. (Here comes the call for purpose.)
- I should try things that feels like a threat to me once in a while, to get out from my comfort zone.
- To just accept that you are good at certain things, not good at certain things, it’s hard. Why can’t I be very good at anything and everything I give myself into. May be my heart is not in place.
- The Heart’s not in place, why? It’s simple. It’s about inclination, that comes naturally and effortlessly. It’s hard to love the process, the work that you find so difficult to understand, comprehend. When you don’t like the overall vibe, the energy in it, you would rather likely start to hate it. And then, there are somethings that you feel naturally inclined to, you like them, and since you like it genuinely, you enjoy the process, the work itself, and you naturally become good at it. So, there are things we are naturally inclined to, and then there are things that are coming from the outward world, that look charming on the outside, feels like it would be good to have them. Well… Maybe, and we get swayed away and feel lost and missing at the end, because we are not meant to do that.
- Inexperience should not be confused with the things we are not good at, basically our Weaknesses. Interest overcomes Inexperience.
- For me, when it was JEE preparation, I wasn’t good at Maths, you could say I was ok but never good and it’s not like I had a liking for it, still not good at it, I never liked it very much. But yes, I loved Physics and Chemistry, and I was good at that.
- There is a also pretty good insight in here. It’s not either you like it or hate it, sometimes, you like certain part of it and you fail at certain other parts of it. For Maths, I liked Probability, Coordinate Geometry, Vector but somethings were just not my cup of tea, like the Calculus. Same goes with my profession, sometimes I just not like doing DS and Algo. But I love to understand how the internet works, how the important components of the whole infrastructure works, how we put in design, perspective and create, build things. How we solve somtimes simple and somtimes harder problems and make tasks easier with technology. I just love that part. So, we should not just reject a thing completely, because of a few things that we don’t like or accept a thing for just a few things, that we like. Rather just focus on Strengths than Weaknesses, and if required, just meet the average standard for the Weaknesses. It’s not like you either hate it or like it completely. Rather, it’s always a balance.
- For me, my inclination has always been understanding how things work, what are the underlying laws and the principles behind anything intriguing, why people tend to behave the way, they behave. I love creating things, designing solutions, solving problems, solving mysteries, going in depth and coming out with clarity, that’s what I have always loved. So, this domain is really vast in itself and my profession is a like niche in that. And I can have a niche with in my profession with in the things I love about my profession.
- So, here is the thing, you get into something, feeling inspired by a thing or two, may be money or the lifestyle, or the fame, it could be anything. You are lucky, if you liked the work, the process. But in case you don’t, it’s like a trade off for the initial needs you entered with. So, it’s doable. Nothing bad about it, untill you find something good. But if you hate the process, the work, the energy itself, it’s gonna be very troublesome.
- Why I enjoy certain things, and not certain other things? (It’s just very natural and very inherent in our nature, that we like somethings and not certain other things.)
- Why I try to run after things I am not good at? (I see some purpose fulfilled over there, it could be money, fame anything, nothing wrong about it, it’s important to accept whatever it be to feel at peace with oneself.)
- And Why I avoid things I love and am good at? (You don’t feel it fulfills your purpose, your present need. You avoid it because it’s hard or it could simply be lethargy, that you are not able to make habit of putting in the efforts.)
- What’s the point behind doing any work that we do?
- Is the intention, why we do something, the most important thing?
- But we can see that even if we have our intention aligned with what we do, it may be that we are not good at that work, or our expertise doesn’t match with our intention. So, the intention remains unfulfilled.
- Then what is meant to be done?
- It’s good if I can align both expertise and intention.
- Now I also know that I enjoy things, even if its not serving my intention of doing good for people in general. May be we do somethings for just ourselves. (This comes purely out of natural inclination or passion.)
- This implies that I could enjoy things even if it’s not serving my conscious intention. May be it’s serving something else, may be it’s just mentally or emotionally or intellectually satisfying.
- So what’s more important, to do things that match with our intention even if we are not good at them, or things that naturally come to us, that we just enjoy doing that doesn’t fulfill any higher intention?
- If I just choose inclination, I am being selfish but if I just choose higher intention, I am doing injustice to myself in the long run. So, it’s not the question of what’s more important, it’s imperfect both ways. There are drawbacks, both ways. The answer to the question is totally an individual choice, but both ways, He can never be completely happy. It’s a defeat.
- Then what I am meant to do, What I am willing and feeling to do when I have no insecurities, fear, frustration? (obligations and responsibilities are no negative emotions.) Basically, when I am just completely free from any negative emotion, and the false desires that come out of that fear or any negative emotion. How am I willing to contribute to this world?
- It makes things clear. I think of things I am naturally good at, feels inclined to, that matches my intentions as well, and I just go for it.
- As Simple as that.
- Peace!
